If you’re struggling with depression, don’t underestimate how impressive it is that you’ve come looking for this page. Depression can make it feel like you’re wading through tar every day, and even trying to help yourself can take energy you don’t feel you have. It’s not easy to break the depression cycle, but whether you need tips and information or to talk to someone NOW, this page can help.
You're not alone
One of the worst tricks that depression plays is in making us feel like we’re the only person that feels this way – that everyone else seems fine. It’s important to remember you’re not alone- depression is one of the most common mental health challenges faced by people in the UK and Ireland. Watch this quick video on depression – maybe you will relate.
What is depression?
Depression is a constant low mood that can make a person feel worthless and, in more severe cases, suicidal. It can affect people at any age, and from any background. Depression can affect all areas of our lives from sleeping and eating habits, relationships and self-esteem, to our interests and hobbies.
Don’t beat yourself up! Depression is measurable and can be seen on brain scans, just like you’d X-ray for a fracture. For more of the science, watch this short video.
Signs to look out for
Mind
- Racing thoughts
- Low self-esteem
- Feeling sad, anxious or empty
- Disengaged/distracted or withdrawn
- Feeling nothing from things you usually enjoy
- Thoughts of death or suicide
Behaviour
- Poor judgement
- Irritable or snappy
- Avoiding tasks that take energy
- Drug or alcohol misuse
- Smoking more
- Social withdrawal
Body
- Profound tiredness (fatigue)
- Nutrition issues – eating to survive, not making healthy choices
- Headaches
- Stomach problems
- Chronic pains that don’t improve with treatment
- Change in sex drive
Jayde Addison – Health and Safety Officer
Jayde tells us about her depression and what worked for her.
Automatic thoughts
Depression is fuelled by what we tell ourselves, and while we’re feeling low, it’s easy to become convinced we’re worthless. If you pay attention to the chatter in your mind, you might hear yourself using negative language like, ‘I’m so stupid, I shouldn’t have done that’. For some of us, this internal chat is so common it’s just part of the everyday.
It’s easy to think our thoughts are always true – why would our own mind lie to us? But what if I told you that our thoughts and feelings have all come from what we learned as a child from parents, friends and society?
Words have power. What you tell yourself is what you start to believe. The good news? You can change the conversation. It’s hard work to change something you’ve always done, but you’ve done hard things before.
The Negative Cycle
Depression is powerful. It will make you believe you haven’t got the energy or the desire to exercise, eat well, see your friends, or do the things you love. The more you draw away from those things, the worse you will feel. The worse you feel, the more depression can get its claws into you, and the cycle repeats.
Read about James, who is going through a difficult divorce, and see the cycle in action.
Read About James' Negative Cycle
James is going through a difficult divorce and sadness is kicking in. ‘I’m such a waste of space, it’s no wonder she left me’, he thinks. (Somewhere in his memory he can hear his dad calling him a waste of space. It was just tough love though, right?)
James isn’t sleeping and feels wiped out – he’s exhausted all the time. It takes so much energy to go to work, there’s no way he can go to the gym after like he used to, he’ll wait ’til he’s feeling better.
He’s getting snappy with his kids – they seem to take so much of his energy – and they have been getting upset. He’s disappointed that he’s taking his anger out on them. ‘I’m such a bad dad’, he tells himself. He starts to get his mum to pick them up on his days.
He’s sure his mates think he’s miserable, and he doesn’t want to be a burden. He stops texting them, ‘they’re better off without me right now’. He turns down invitations to the pub and makes an excuse about the Christmas party.
James starts to feel more and more lonely, and starts drinking at home to blot out the numbness he feels. He can see the pile of bills stacking up, but he can’t handle that right now, he just wants to go to bed.
Showering is pointless, it’s too much energy and he’s not going anywhere anyway. But still, he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks, ‘I’m a lazy waste of space’.
Depression has seeped into James’ life and tricked him into abandoning the things that make life worth living. James isn’t socialising, spending time with family, exercising, or taking care of himself. ‘It’s all too hard. I don’t want to be here’, he thinks.
steps to tackle your depression
Watch this video
This video is a five minute essential for better understanding depression – ideal for sufferers AND the people who love them.
Challenge those automatic thoughts
This is easier said than done, but an amazing tool to defeat depression. Am I really a ‘waste of space’? Do I actually believe that?
Replace Those Thoughts ↓
- It’s strong to seek help
- I am resilient
- I have people who care about me
- I can handle anything
- I work hard
- My best days are coming
- I am stronger than my depression
- It’s worth taking care of myself
Break the cycle
Depression puts us into a negative spiral that can feel impossible to break. But the more times you override it by taking care of yourself, the stronger that reflex gets.
Knowledge is power
You might have a hunch you’re sinking and not enjoying life like you used to. Seeing results in front of you might just make you understand you need and deserve help. Try the quiz below to see where you are on the scale.
Speak to us if you need more help
If you’re having a tough time, please don’t wait ’til you break. Get in touch. This is what we do.
If you live in the UK:
If you live in the Republic of Ireland:
Or click on the Live Chat icon in the bottom right of the page to speak to a member of our helpline team.