We all experience moments of suffering in life, and those moments come with a range of emotions – betrayal, disappointment, sadness. Trauma is different. When we experience something highly distressing or disturbing that’s out of our control, we lose the ability to cope with our emotions. The long-lasting damage caused is what we know as ‘trauma’.

Your Trauma

Thinking about the trauma you may have suffered in your life can be difficult. You might have carried trauma since childhood, and you feel like you won’t cope if you go digging into the past. If something from your past feels dangerous to think about, or you make excuses not to go there – this is a very good indication it was a traumatic experience.

Some of you might know exactly what experiences have traumatised you, but you never thought you could do anything about it. Let us help.

What's the point?

If you’re functioning day-to-day, you might wonder why you’d bother digging up a painful past. But have you ever wondered why you behave the way you do in your relationships? Maybe you’re quick to angry outbursts in a fight, or you feel yourself shut down and block everything out. Maybe certain topics of conversation make you uneasy, or you let people walk all over you. If you have experienced traumatic experiences in your life, they could be affecting how you behave now.

Dealing with your trauma is a step towards understanding yourself and your mental health better, helping you to live a more fulfilling life.

Acknowledge what happened

Trauma can come with some very complicated feelings. You might find yourself denying what happened, or pretending it wasn’t so bad. In order to tackle it – you need to stare it right in the face. Be honest with yourself about what happened and why it has affected you so badly.

feel your feelings

This may not come naturally, but it’s the most important step. Go back to that time in your mind and feel the difficult feelings around it. You buried those feelings at the time, and they need to be felt in order to go away. An emotion can be painful, but it can’t beat you.

Seek support

When you start to revisit trauma, it won’t be an easy ride. It is likely to get worse before it gets much, much better. Hang on in there, but don’t do it alone. Lean on family and friends for support, speak to a therapist, or call our charity for free, day or night.

A Note on emotions

For years men have been told to hold it in, be strong, ‘man up’. That they shouldn’t cry. The idea that it’s strong to block out emotions is wrong, and telling this to boys has created a mental health crisis amongst men. Feeling your emotions fully is what helps them to go away. Be brave – feel your feelings.